First part of my cosplay

So.

My mind keeps having mental break downs and I don't know why but it's a thing that's happening so I'm just gonna deal with it.

And I'm doing it.

I hope I'm doing it well.

But, incredible, that's not the point.

The first part of my cosplay arrived on friday and I'm terrified.
And glad.
But still terrified.

Because now there's no going back. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna touch the booty. I'm gonna cosplay it.

My fave character. That reminds me of myself somehow. In a really weird way.

Who suffered through some deep shit and got out. Messed up, but got out.

I love that dork.

Now more that ever I love that dork so bad I could just hug this huge idiot and cuddle all the way into oblivion.

And I'm gonna do it.

And it'll be so damn embarrassing because now everyone knows I love this character and all its flaws in such an unironic way I could die.

But the first part arrived and I tried it and I'm so madly in love with everything.

You may not believe me but I'm writing this and my fucking kokoro is going all dokidoki and I'd rather get killed than say something like this if I didn't mean it. It's so embarrassing I really don't even know HOW this could happen.

*breathes*

but I tried the first part of my cosplay on and it was amazing.

I'm so full of hope I wish I didn't have and... it's wonderful and awful and everything in between. I feel so close to this character.

You know what they say "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".

I'm so not sure about which one is better but I feel like I could barf either way so I guess it just sucks. But in this huge shitstorm I guess the first one could hurt in a way that might, at some point, bring a smile with it.

That's all I'm gonna say about it. About this awesome character and my undying love and how I am SURE it'd be a fucking Griffindor don't even try to bring this up with me I'll murder your family.

I'm gonna go hug my cosplay now.

My legs feel numb.

Haru loves you.

Excited and feeling like shit

I'm beginning my eternal jurney of work and tears to get my cosplay for Lucca Comics done.

And I'm just gonna write down here why I'm feeling excited and like shit at the same time while doing and even planning this.

As I said in my last week's vlog (it's in Italian, sorry) I'm not gonna tell you which character is it and not even the fandom.

What I can definitely tell you is that I'm anxious because it's one of my fave characters. Ever.

I usually love characters that somehow remind me of myself, basically because I feel like I can understand how they feel and think, and sometimes I can even relate to some of their experiences or choices. They usually have a weird sense of humor and just try to act all smooth (and sometimes fail at it epically) while they're just huge dorks. Also they're usually disinterested (or act like it) in all the stuff going on ultill shit gets real and at that point they just leash out and wreck some shit. Because it needs to be done. And if it needs to be done and none's willing to do it they just have to step up and save the damn day.

That's why I love them.

They're not really self confident. They had to act like it because of random reasons but in the end they're just damn kids (regardless of age) and are scared shitless by life and anything, but they don't give up.

They try to have things their way and when they can't and have to face the awful reality just wipe off their tears and pick up their sword (yep, it's usually swords... kinda funny) and fight for their lives and what they believe.

And I am just madly in love with them all. Meaning that I'm not looking for a person like this irl (the perfect girl/boy for me has a different personality) but I'd just love to be like them because I think they're awesome.

And... I am aware of being like them already. Of course I'm far more balanced, because I'm not a stereotype (I'd say because I'm real but life keeps denying my existence so...) and they actually have this huge flaws just to make them look real even if they don't...

But I never ever feel like I'm enough to be like them. At all.

That's the main reason that got me to hide my next cosplay.

It's a character I LOVE TO BITS and I... I feel like I'm just not enough. Even though I even compared height and weight and it could kinda match... even though I can feel how bad every emotional blow might have felt in its place...

Basically... I'm pretty self confident untill I see my fave characters.

They've got the power to make me feel like shit compared to how cool they are and, well... I feel like shit just thinking about my cosplay.

BUT I'm gonna do it.

Because I spent a lot of time thinking about it and I even talked about it with some REALLY close friends and I came to the conclusion that I really need to get id of this thing that triggers my self-loathing.

I have to do it to try and make good memories of me cosplaying as someone I love deeply, so that I won't be scared to death of cosplay and I'm feel like it's ok if I cosplay someone I look up to.

And this might all seem prety dumb but if you think I'm an idiot you're probably right and wasting your time reading an idiot's blog so we're kind of even.

If you don't think I'm an idiot...

Haru loves you <3

Shingeki no Kyojin

Well... guess what I just saw?

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN?

Yeah how did you know?

Ah, the title of this post? I see... I should stop making dramatic spoilers in titles, shouldn't I? Oh, you say that's what the title is for? Well shit.

Now back to the topic!

.+*+. SPIOLERS .+*+.

If you speak italian I've got good news for you!

You can watch this video about my opinion about SnK and just get over with it! YOOOO

If you don't you'll have to read this post about it, I'm sorry.

First things first!

I hate Eren. He's an idiot. I'd punch him in the face every time he opens his mouth to speak.

Aaaaaand.... well it's kind of embarassing... but I really love Jean. I think he's the only one that had any sense (untill a sudden death fucked him up and made him just about as stupid as anyone else).

Also Annie was somehow a smart girl but well... we all know how it ended and if you don't you should watch it and get to know how it ends.

Also I know that it's not the end at all.

The manga goes on from where the anime ends but GUESS WHAT? I'm not gonna read it.

Because... I was a super happy girl walkign around on tumblr but then I took what looked like a spoiler to the knee. And I guess Jean's gonna die around chapter 58 or something like that.

And since I'm such a child when it comes to my fave characters dying, aka I stop reading coz I hate it all and I'm gonna pretend I don't care but I'm gonna kill whoever decided that killing that character was fun or necessary.

So... yeah I'm just gonna stick to the anime and drown in my little puddle of denial.

Also I didn't cry when Marco died. Because I didn't really get how bad it was for Jean (but the corpse made me feel kinda nauseous).

I nearly cry over fanfics tho and now... I really feel bad every time I think about it.

I SHIP THEM SO HARD IT HURTS.

Last time a ship hurt that much I was elbow deep in DenNor and reading Gutters by Glassamilk. I cried my eyes out that time.

If you know of a fanfic that's just THAT sad about Jean and Marco... please tell me. And I won't read it untill someday when I'll think I can take it and I'll find out too late that NOPE I CAN'T ABORT MISSION ABORTI MISSION but it'll be too late and I'm gonna curse me, you, this blog and the writer for life.

Well, gotta go now.

Haru loves Jean you.

Honk

Hello there!

In case you were wondering... I had a little chat with this girl and DID NOT TELL HER, but she might not hate me so yay *^*

Also everyone's telling me she might even like me so I'm happy and I'm def gonna keep flirting. I'm even trying to make it a bit more... evident? Idk.

Anyway I'm happy.

And... I've been working on my cosplay for the Torino Comics!

I'm gonna cosplay as Gamzee Makara from Homestuck.

I'm cosplaying as him even if he's not my fave character (that'd be Dave) and even my favourite alpha (is he an alpha?) troll. That'd be Sol. Definitely Sol.

But I like him, I think he's pretty funny untill... uh... well you know.

SPOILER

I don't really like sober Gamzee, he's still pretty funny now and then but I really can't get over the fact that he randomply killed Equius and Nepeta.
I'd also feel even worse since I'll probably be hangin' around with a sweet Nepeta çAç
I feel so guilty. (?)
Anyway that's why I'm not a sober Gamzee and I'll be a sweet deeply on drugs miracle-blinded Gamzee <3

He's so adorable. Just like a kid.

END SPOILER.

So...

I've got my shoes done and my horns are nearly ready!

I still have to make the dots on my pants and the shirt's being printed *^* I can't wait to put it all on!

Also I'll be using snazaroo's colours light grey and white (I plan on using white for some random shironuri as well).

I'm waiting for the wig. I'll have to style it, or better, Rika will style it.

She's lucky I don't have my horn yet or else I'd be randomly honking at her during the styling process XD

Yup, I'm just that horrible.

Well if you'll see a Gamzee at Torino Comics you know it'll probably be me! I don't think there'll be other Gamzees (?)

Haru loves you!

Teeth

Hello.

You know what? I'm kinda scared.

Every damn actor or singer or whatever has the exact same teeth.

They're all the same lenght, similar dimension and with absolutely innocent looking canines. And it really upsets me.

It's not really important, I mean, they're still hot as hell but it's just like... if teeth are just like fingerprints, unique and stuff... why do they look so alike.

I know, they're fake and stuff.

But my teeth are really different from Rika's or Shane's and the same goes for everyone I know.

They look all the same, it's weird. Looks weird.

Don't get me wrong. I still love all of my idols!

Haru loves you!

DaveJohn

I bet you all can tell I ship DaveJohn so fucking hard I barely have a life of my own to live.

They're just so damn perfect. Hot. Adorable.

But nobody knows I've been planning to write a post about my favourite fanfics.

At first I wanted to do a big, huge post about all the fics, all the ships, all the ratings, all leghts, all- hell, I guess you got it.
But then it would probably end up bieng a book or something like that so... I'm doing this just about my super-lovely OTP.

DaveJohn.

I read a lot of fanfics (I also used to write but not about Homestuck) of every lenght or rating. There's just one thing I do not like at all. And it's ANGST. If you're looking for angst I'm sorry, this is the wrong post, blog, person and probably universe. I do not tolerate angst in my universe.

Only happy lovely fluffy endings for my sweeties.

Just a couple of warnings: I call the ship DaveJohn but I don't really mean the order, it can be either John or Dave topping. Also I'll post both SFW and NSFW here, I'll tell which ones are kinda dirty though. I'll also do my best to tag triggers and stuff, I hope I won't forget any of them.

Lets start with the first fanfic I remember reading about Dave and John.

"Waiting for the end" by Tero Ne.
It's really long (over 100k words) but I really really loved reading it! There's some smut so I think it could be kinda NSFW? I mean the story is quite long and.. it's kind of normal to get to hot stuff during it.
Anyway, the point is this one's adorable and it takes place in an Alternia/Earth-post-sburb/sgrub!AU?
There are a lot of other pairings but I think I sould tell you about the awesome kismesis that Dave has with Karkat in this one.
Just read it ok?

I also really like random AUs so... reverse!Demonstuck!

"and let this cold night's wind be my witness" by Snowsheba.
It's a oneshot (over 17k words) and I read it right after a small Supernatural marathon so I was really into it! Kinda SFW but there's some major character death and graphic violence. Quite graphic violence, actually. I loved it because it can get really psychological and deep if you let the main character's thoughts get at you.

Still an AU but... kinda vintage (?)

"The Heir and His Knight" by wittyy_name.
Medieval!AU and it's absolutely gorgeous. Quite long (over 120k words) but definitely worth it, I didn't want it to end actually! Can get kinda NSFW but again, it's a long story, it would be disappointing without a bit of smut! Also, there's some Rosemary. Super cute Rosemary. I also need to warn you, this one made me cry (and I hardly ever cy) but... the sequel/spin off made me cry more. "Of Hope and Heart" is adorable as well and completes the AU with some much needed DirkJake.

But what if you're looking for some kinky, hot smut?

Irrevocably, Irrefutably, Indisputably by ravenfyre.
I really have to warn you about this one. This is not a PWP, it does have a plot and it's a quite interesting one but it's still mainly porn. Also kinda kinky. Mild vouyerism and exhibitionism, oral, handjob, foreplay and stuff. Just to let you know what I'm referring to: it's DaveJohn, but it's mainly Bro's pov. It's longish (over 20k words) and I think it's hot, sweet and made me really laugh a couple of times.
If you're ok with kinks, just read it!

So these are my faves so far, I might do similar posts about more ships or more specific subjects, if you want something special just ask!
I'll see what can I do about it ^^

Also a great thanks goes to the writers that did such a great job, I really loved your fics! *^*

Haru loves you