Excited and feeling like shit

I'm beginning my eternal jurney of work and tears to get my cosplay for Lucca Comics done.

And I'm just gonna write down here why I'm feeling excited and like shit at the same time while doing and even planning this.

As I said in my last week's vlog (it's in Italian, sorry) I'm not gonna tell you which character is it and not even the fandom.

What I can definitely tell you is that I'm anxious because it's one of my fave characters. Ever.

I usually love characters that somehow remind me of myself, basically because I feel like I can understand how they feel and think, and sometimes I can even relate to some of their experiences or choices. They usually have a weird sense of humor and just try to act all smooth (and sometimes fail at it epically) while they're just huge dorks. Also they're usually disinterested (or act like it) in all the stuff going on ultill shit gets real and at that point they just leash out and wreck some shit. Because it needs to be done. And if it needs to be done and none's willing to do it they just have to step up and save the damn day.

That's why I love them.

They're not really self confident. They had to act like it because of random reasons but in the end they're just damn kids (regardless of age) and are scared shitless by life and anything, but they don't give up.

They try to have things their way and when they can't and have to face the awful reality just wipe off their tears and pick up their sword (yep, it's usually swords... kinda funny) and fight for their lives and what they believe.

And I am just madly in love with them all. Meaning that I'm not looking for a person like this irl (the perfect girl/boy for me has a different personality) but I'd just love to be like them because I think they're awesome.

And... I am aware of being like them already. Of course I'm far more balanced, because I'm not a stereotype (I'd say because I'm real but life keeps denying my existence so...) and they actually have this huge flaws just to make them look real even if they don't...

But I never ever feel like I'm enough to be like them. At all.

That's the main reason that got me to hide my next cosplay.

It's a character I LOVE TO BITS and I... I feel like I'm just not enough. Even though I even compared height and weight and it could kinda match... even though I can feel how bad every emotional blow might have felt in its place...

Basically... I'm pretty self confident untill I see my fave characters.

They've got the power to make me feel like shit compared to how cool they are and, well... I feel like shit just thinking about my cosplay.

BUT I'm gonna do it.

Because I spent a lot of time thinking about it and I even talked about it with some REALLY close friends and I came to the conclusion that I really need to get id of this thing that triggers my self-loathing.

I have to do it to try and make good memories of me cosplaying as someone I love deeply, so that I won't be scared to death of cosplay and I'm feel like it's ok if I cosplay someone I look up to.

And this might all seem prety dumb but if you think I'm an idiot you're probably right and wasting your time reading an idiot's blog so we're kind of even.

If you don't think I'm an idiot...

Haru loves you <3

TC and HFW ftw

So...

It's been a while I know.

I just suck at keeping up blogs and stuff, sorry.

I've been not really busy but... well whatever.

One of the most important things is that I was at Torino Comics and I really liked it!

Thanks to Simone Forelli for the great picture! I really love it!

This is the first cosplay I really enjoyed doing and wearing. The past ones were either characters I didn't think fitted me well or I didn't really know much about so... I really liked being Gamzee at this con! owo

I was with Rika (Feferi) and Shane (Eridan), we had a lot of fun and met other homestucks!

I expected homestucks to be more, tho.

But it was awesome and I look forward to do more cosplays and go to more cons like this one.


I also chopped off my hair because I was tired of how long it was so during the Harajuku Fashion Walk in Turin I had short short short hair!

Everyone was so fab! I just can't wait for the next one to see them all again!

Haru loves you!

Honk

Hello there!

In case you were wondering... I had a little chat with this girl and DID NOT TELL HER, but she might not hate me so yay *^*

Also everyone's telling me she might even like me so I'm happy and I'm def gonna keep flirting. I'm even trying to make it a bit more... evident? Idk.

Anyway I'm happy.

And... I've been working on my cosplay for the Torino Comics!

I'm gonna cosplay as Gamzee Makara from Homestuck.

I'm cosplaying as him even if he's not my fave character (that'd be Dave) and even my favourite alpha (is he an alpha?) troll. That'd be Sol. Definitely Sol.

But I like him, I think he's pretty funny untill... uh... well you know.

SPOILER

I don't really like sober Gamzee, he's still pretty funny now and then but I really can't get over the fact that he randomply killed Equius and Nepeta.
I'd also feel even worse since I'll probably be hangin' around with a sweet Nepeta çAç
I feel so guilty. (?)
Anyway that's why I'm not a sober Gamzee and I'll be a sweet deeply on drugs miracle-blinded Gamzee <3

He's so adorable. Just like a kid.

END SPOILER.

So...

I've got my shoes done and my horns are nearly ready!

I still have to make the dots on my pants and the shirt's being printed *^* I can't wait to put it all on!

Also I'll be using snazaroo's colours light grey and white (I plan on using white for some random shironuri as well).

I'm waiting for the wig. I'll have to style it, or better, Rika will style it.

She's lucky I don't have my horn yet or else I'd be randomly honking at her during the styling process XD

Yup, I'm just that horrible.

Well if you'll see a Gamzee at Torino Comics you know it'll probably be me! I don't think there'll be other Gamzees (?)

Haru loves you!

Jpop, jokes and... a doll?

Hello!

Yesterday I went to Turin with OWL!

We organized the Jpop themed meet in our region so we met up with a lot of awesome people at 8gallery!

At 8.30 am we took the train heading to Turin even though the meet was scheduled for lunch because we wanted to try a new way to get there and since we're quite good at getting lost... lmao
We didn't get lost though and ended up being there pretty early, but there are a lot of shops and we just wandered there watching shop windows!

At 12 people started showing up and an hour later we finally got something to eat, I was starving!

We played DDR and some other random games and entered some shops looking for good sales! There were some super-cute things but they were still too expensive!

At 6.30 pm we got on the train heading home!

I want to thank everyone that was there and here's a random pic! Even though some people's missing o.o

I got a lot of fun and met new and interesting people! Thank you all!

And also, I'm done watching the 7th season of Supernatural and... that was kind of random. I'm happy though, because insane Cas in the last episodes was hilarious and I really loved the "pull my finger" thing. It was awesome. I really laughed. Damn, Dean and Sam have both a shitty sense of humor, really.
And little Cas needs some encouragement about his jokes.

Anyway I'll start the next season asap because I'm just too courious and also I can't wait to get to the 9th one because tumblr tells me there might be some interesting moments kinda Destiel and I just can't wait.

I can't wait.

Also I was thinking that I might want to destroy my self confidence trying to sew a doll. Not sure if a Castiel doll or a troll doll (not sure if Karkat or what, I really can't decide). I know I'll probably fail at it epically but I guess I'll try. I just need to figure out how to do it... like how to cut the fabric right to make the head and stuff like that.

Haru loves you.

Lucca Comics

Hey!

*sigh* I know it's late and stuff, but... I'm not here to post anything about Lucca Comics 2013 yet. I'm not really in the mood and.. I haven't really been completely ok since then.

Lucca Comics was fun and I met a load of funny and sweet people but... I don't know, I feel like I'm kind of waiting for something to happen and... well, it's not happening. Or maybe it is, it would be easier to tell if I actually knew what the heck I'm waiting for!
Yep, even after Lucca Comics I'm still kind of insane, I'm sorry guys... I have to confess it's not stress what makes me kind of weird. I'm just like that, always.

Anyway, I'm not here to whine about how fucked up my mind is or whatever! I'm here to tell you about Lucca Comics!

...I'm changing my mind pretty fast tonight, isn't it? Well, I'm sorry sweeties.

The truth is that I think that all I can say about Lucca Comics is kind of a clichè. It was super cool, and funny and awesome, there were a lot of cosplayers and most of them were just plain sweet and I wanted to have pictures of a lot of them and I cosplayed as well and I'm glad I got pictures and stuff like that.
This is all true but I feel like shit writing common stuff on my blog... I would not read a blog with boring stuff.

So I'm gonna tell you about the people I met!

I met a looooot of  friends from Turin and it was awesome, I missed them so much and I was so happy to see them again! I love them all, really, they made me what I am right now and I'm always happy to see them and have a little chat, even if we don't really tlak that much. They're all cosplayers and they made me feel ok and accepted in the cosplay community, even if I don't cosplay that much... They're just sweet, I love them! Really!

But then I also met people that knew me but I really did not know! This really surprised me! They came to say hi and I really enjoyed chatting with them!

I also got to know new people! I managed to keep in touch with most of them and I'm glad I did because most of them are so nice and cute! And also quite good artists! (I coudn't draw like them for my life *sigh*)
I've followed some new blogs on tumblr and I'll probably end up in new fandoms u.u

Also I'm kind of sad because I did not meet some people I wanted to see... I'm really sorry but you know how Lucca Comics is... It's huge and crowded and... I just could not find you!

Anyway I'm feeling pretty lazy so I won't upload pics, you can find some of them on OWL's blog along with the actual Lucca Comics Chronicle (?) aaaand if you just want to see all the pics (ALL OF THEM) they're all in out OWL @ Lucca Comics album!!

So... that's it. u.u

Ah, I nearly forgot!
I met some pretty cute girls as well and someone may or may not have left me kind of lovestruck (?)

Haru loves you <3

Nearly done

So tomorrow's the last day before Lucca Comics.

I'm really excited about it, I can't wait!

My bag's nearly done, I just have a few things to put in before leaving and then I'll be officially off for adventure!

My outfits are all ready and I'm pretty happy about them.

News: I finihed watching the first season of Supernatural and... well it ends quite badly. All I could think of was "I LIKE TRAINS" and I just sat there rumbling about what an awful end it was. Anyway I'm already watching season 2 and it looks pretty cool. But the site just won't work, I hate it so much...

I'm also reading a shitload of fanfics about Homestuck. I'm gonna write a post about the ones I loved the most and I already have a couple of them that I really want you all to read. Don't worry, I'm a multishipper but I'm mostly into popular ships.
Anyway if you have some fics you'd like me to read just tell me and I'll be glad to, the pairing doesn't matter and, this is important, I'm gonna read them even if they're awfully angsty. Really.
I usually don't read angst but.. fuck it, I'm young (?)

Ok babes, I'll go get the last things ready.

Haru loves you

Ran Mao

Today I finished the dress for my Ran Mao cosplay!

I'm cosplaying a ball version of Ran Mao with OWL being Ciel and Alois.

I'm glad of how the dress is r/n and I can't wait to wear it the last two days at Lucca Comics! I'm no going to show you the whole dress but here's a small detail...

I'm still working on other parts of my cosplay but I won't tell you where I'm using this!!

Kind of a small post but I really wanted to show you this shit I'm working on! I didn't show you anything relevant though.
I guess I'm just that mean.

Haru loves you

Lucca Comics and Gigapause

Sorry for this late update.

I've been kind of busy getting ready for Lucca Comics and I still am not done! I still have to work a bit on my cosplay and on my original trikster outfit, but today I went to Turin with Rika and Shane to get the last things we need for our outfits and stuff! Lucca's starting in a week and I really can't wait for the National Harajuku Fashion Walk!! I kind of hate it that I have so little time left so I'm starting to panic but it's quite normal. I'm... usually over reacting to shit all the time.

And talking about over reacting to stuff... I'm absolutely out of my mind about the GIGAPAUSE that Hussie announced six days ago. I'm surprised it took nearly a week for me to process this... thing. Usually I cope quite faster with sudden events (by over reacting, of course).

I didn't expect it. At all.

It might be because I've been into Homestuck for something like five months or less and so... I didn't get to see past pauses. Or maybe I didn't really read what Hussie wrote before (no, I did but I'm not stalkering him on twitter and stuff). Or maybe I'm just a complete idiot because I really don't get things until I stumble upon them.

I'm not angry or stuff, don't get me wrong. I understand he's got a shitload of work to do to finish properly this awesome webcomic (also I guess I'll read Problem Sleuth when Homestuck's over) and I'm glad he's going to get a pause to do it.

I just don't understand why now and why he's going to post it all at once.

I've been thinking about it (insted of doing what I have to for the upcoming comic con in Lucca) and... I don't get it. Right now the story is so complicated and the situation is just... so weird. Why did he stop now if he's saying he's doing it now to avoid interrupting the story at even weirder moments? He could have done it right before Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2 (?) I mean when John was buried alive by Caliborn's weird Daves (I guess my sentence lost all its sense a while ago... anyway yay for PepsiCola!). That was a simple point int he story and this would have not been so... painful? Sudden? idk

I also wonder why is he going to post it all at once. I mean... the story is quite interesting right now, to post the rest of it in small chunks like he did until now would bring a lot of views to the site and... well probably the internet would survive..?

I... I think I gave up at understandig Hussie a long time ago, though.

So I'm kind of ok with this all. Also the hiatus fandom is quite funny with all those sprite edits and weird stuff.

I'm using the word "weird" way too often in this post.

Now, since I'm an idiot I guess a lot of you noticed a shitload of details I did not see at all, but I'm wondering if somewhere, somewhen, in a panel that I really didn't pay attention to... there was some hint about Dave's and John's whereabouts.
I didn' see John in a while ("...buried alive by Caliborn's weird Daves...") and also Dave just flew off somewhere.

"can't talk
chasing dogs"

I wish I knew where this two are. Also Sollux. Hell, I miss Sollux! He's my fave troll and if I remember it right I las saw him flying away with Fef and AA... neh, I'm sad now.

I'm also kind of sad because Homestuck's going to end. I think it's somehow close to the idea of death and I guess that's something I still can't understand... it's like I can't really imagine it. o.o I really should work on this, I once hear that kids usually get to understand death and I still can't... well, shit.

So... have a nice gigapause, I guess.

Haru loves you

I forgot the news

Ah... this is kind of embarrassing but I really really really forgot to tell you a bunch of things.

And I remembered this listening to "Welcome to Night Vale". That's the first thing I forgot to tell you: I fell completely in love with Cecil and his voice and all the weird stuff that happens daily in town.
I just listened to "The lights in Radon Canyon" and I loved it! I was looking forward to knowing what was going on in the underground city! OMG so creepy...
Also poor poor Cecil. I ship him with Carlos so much and still he has no plans for the weekend... ugh.

Today I spent my time on my jacket-saur project. It is my -not so- secret project for the National Harajuku Fashion Walk that will take place at Lucca Comics on November 1st!! OWL are part of the organization and I'm so excited about it!
My jacket-saur is nearly ready but you'll have to wait to see it until the Walk because I want it to be a surprise! It looks great and I really love it!
At first it was supposed to be a hoodie-saur but apparently the lack of cool hoodies around Cuneo just got dramatically worse. Idek. Hoodies are great why can't I find cute ones?
Oh well. I'm ok with my jacket so I can't bring myself to care right now. I'm staring at my project and fangirling.

Yes. Fangirling.

You'll see. And you'll understand. Just be patient and wait!

Also YEAH, I'M GOING TO LUCCA COMICS. I'll be there with OWL all of the four days and ont he first day, since it's Halloween, we'll wear some original cosplay (?) inspired to the trickster versions from Homestuck. It'll be something simple since we'll have to travel a lot and clothes need to be comfortable. On the second day there's the Natiola Walk so I'll be wearing aomoji, Rika will wear lolita and Shane kodona. The last two days we'll be cosplaying as the ball versions of some Kuroshitsuji's characters!

I just can't wait!

I'll also meet a load of friends, I really really can't wait!

Haru loves you!