Tick Tock

I've been thinking a lot about this whole blog.

I love having a blog but I'm trying to make a new life and it's hard, so I'm doing my best to avoid anything that might hold me back...

So I decided to create a new blog.

I won't delete this one, this is part of my life and it's valid just as any other past experience I had.

I just wanted to thank you for reading and leaving comments, I enjoyed writing here and I hope to entertain you again.

Tick Tock

Haru loves you.

If I believe hard enough...

So I utterly failed at making a 2014 recap post and I also kind of completely missed the whole New Year's post thing.

I think I should apologize but... I've got my reasons~

And my reason is just one beautiful adorable sweet thing.

But I can't tell--- because of other, considerably less charming, reasons.

What I'm saying is that I am overall happy.

2015 started pretty well even tho 60% of my life still sucks pretty bad, but I can't bring myself to care. I try to care but... wow... I fail at finding fucks to give. Some day I'll fix things tho, I swear.

I feel like this year will be fine and calm, I guess I was waiting for this to happen. I can't really feel the rush anymore, I'm at ease.

But as I said I'm /overall/ happy. There are still a few small things nagging me... and they happen to hurt now and then. And I can't help it.

Right now I feel this low humming pain somewhere within me and I feel sick. (ok the huge amount of junk food I had for lunch might be helping with that last part a lil bit) But I can't do shit about it. I feel and I'm glad I do. Because that's what a functional human does.

Humans are. Humans do. Humans feel. Humans think. Humans believe.

(And I am glad I am finally able to do all of them!!)

But this is exactly why I accept feeling like this right now.

Because being unsatisfied is what makes me wanna change what I am. So I gotta do stuff. I gotta think what to do.

I have to believe it is possible.

Please don't blame me for being a daydreamer, for believing in perfection and stuff.

For all those homestucks who might be reading, I am a Hero of Hope.

I was born to believe in dumb shit.

Dumb shit that becomes real if I believe hard enough.

Thas is why I am currently in my bed, wearing my pj's and my favourite hat+scarf.
Because I remember wearing them every time I thought for a second that I couldn't get what I wanted and I recall thinking immediately "No. If I think like this it sure as hell won't happen! I need to believe."

And well... I have what I wanted for so long.

I got it.

Suddenly and... it's nearly perfect.

And I want to believe that things will get even better. That I'll get to my quiet place in the world.

I'll believe untill it'll be real.

Haru loves you.