Ever.

Hello there!

I think you all remember the dramatic scene from Pile of cells. No, of course you don't, I know. Because I didn't give a crap about people reading it so I didn't spam it at all. owo

Anyway now you know about it and what I wanted to tell you is that... she did notice, I did tell her and she DID want this useless pile of cells!

And I'm glad!

I am now ready to tell you all!

Her name's Claudia and she's cute, adorable and omg I reaaaaally like her! owo

We're gonna go on a date next week and it'll be sooooo cool, I just can't wait to see her and hug her! It's been a while (a week? a week and a half?) since the last time I saw her! And also last time I still thought this was all some one-sided sad-as-fuck feeling so I didn't do much. Or talk to her much.
God, I was trying so hard not to stare at her or just randomly blush when she smiled çAç so so so hard.

MY KOKORO WAS GOING ALL DOKI DOKI

and I couldn't help it .-.

The week before I had to deal with a lot of random anxiety because I would remember at random times that she was coming over and I'd just... panic. I did my best to make it all perfect (and failed epically) for her and omg. SO. MUCH. PANIC.

I'm not even used to it. I'm a calm girl I do not panic, I never panic... until I do. çAç That shit's creepy ok? I do not like being all anxious and stuff. I hate it.

My life, my mind was so fucked up I stopped talking to her for three days straight, right after meeting her, because I felt like shit just thinking about her being disappointed about me, my house, my food, my cats, my family... hell, everything. I even felt bad for my fucking washing machine. MY WASHING MACHINE. Ok, now you know I can panic.

I really hope this won't happen never ever again. Ever. I don't like it. I want to be calm and the happy-go-lucky girl I usually am. No panic. Not ever. EVER.

Haru loves you.

(ever.)

Honk

Hello there!

In case you were wondering... I had a little chat with this girl and DID NOT TELL HER, but she might not hate me so yay *^*

Also everyone's telling me she might even like me so I'm happy and I'm def gonna keep flirting. I'm even trying to make it a bit more... evident? Idk.

Anyway I'm happy.

And... I've been working on my cosplay for the Torino Comics!

I'm gonna cosplay as Gamzee Makara from Homestuck.

I'm cosplaying as him even if he's not my fave character (that'd be Dave) and even my favourite alpha (is he an alpha?) troll. That'd be Sol. Definitely Sol.

But I like him, I think he's pretty funny untill... uh... well you know.

SPOILER

I don't really like sober Gamzee, he's still pretty funny now and then but I really can't get over the fact that he randomply killed Equius and Nepeta.
I'd also feel even worse since I'll probably be hangin' around with a sweet Nepeta çAç
I feel so guilty. (?)
Anyway that's why I'm not a sober Gamzee and I'll be a sweet deeply on drugs miracle-blinded Gamzee <3

He's so adorable. Just like a kid.

END SPOILER.

So...

I've got my shoes done and my horns are nearly ready!

I still have to make the dots on my pants and the shirt's being printed *^* I can't wait to put it all on!

Also I'll be using snazaroo's colours light grey and white (I plan on using white for some random shironuri as well).

I'm waiting for the wig. I'll have to style it, or better, Rika will style it.

She's lucky I don't have my horn yet or else I'd be randomly honking at her during the styling process XD

Yup, I'm just that horrible.

Well if you'll see a Gamzee at Torino Comics you know it'll probably be me! I don't think there'll be other Gamzees (?)

Haru loves you!

Pile of Cells

So, today's kind of a weird day.

Ok, all of my days are weird, so probably they're just plaind boring days and I'm completely insane.

But today that's not the point. Or maybe it is. Idk.

Anyway I've been getting a lot of news about the girl I like and stuff and... I feel like crap.

But I'd better start from the beginning and it's that... I just had a rad weekend and I slept something like 4 hours in the last two days so I'm probably just having a random mental break down.

The girl I like is like... woah. She's awesome. I really really like her and I feel so happy when I'm with her and I'm a little awkward shit so she probably does not know at all or just ignores me.

If she's ignoring me... that'd break my heart, brain and everything. But it's fine and I'd just get over it hiding all the shit under the mat an stuff.

Omg I'm such an idiot.

Well anyway I've been getting news about her and I'm sad as fuck because she probably thinks I am the worst thing in the whole world so... yay.

I'd just give up and fuck off but I'm so tired of getting over her and falling fo her again the first time I see her or talk or chat or even hear her name. I'M SO TIRED of not being able to go on.

So I'm just gonna keep flirting. And I do not flirt because I don't know how to so I'll just keep being randomly nice to her with little invisible things that she does not notice so yeah.

I'm a useless pile of cells and salty water, what am I even.

Haru loves you