The road so far

Ok, now imagine some AC/DC music playing and just read this huge clichè of a post.

So this is some good old recap of my last year. Nope I won't do every month or every fucking event or stuff like that. I'm gonna do it like this...

People tend to turn life into four different quadrants: work, love, money and spirituality.

So here you go.

Work. And if I think about work I think of OWL or school.

It's been ok.

I mean I had some trouble in school, mostly because I'm lazy and I really hate my university, teachers and burocracy, just a bunch of assholes, but I just have a little bit of work to do and I'll be finally done with it.

And I have to say that I'm actually pretty proud of how OWL did this year. Ok, we haven't been as active as last year but I really had fun and I feel like I improved a bit with all the j-fashion thing and... I'm glad. I attended the National Harajuku Walk and I've been creating some cute stuff for my outfits... I'm happy!

And I still think this is the only thing that counts.


Now let's talk about love.

I'm still fucking single.

And I kind of miss the feeling of being loved and stuff. I mean OWL do a great job and I know they love me a fucking lot but... It's different. And I don't even know how, I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about the way you feel in your head when you're in love and loved back.

Hell I don't even know.

Here, have a cute Cas with a hamburger.

Money.

What about money. Well I'm still not rich, but I had enough. I bought nearly everything I wanted and I've been living kind of ok through this year.

Lately shit's been getting worse and I'm... I'm starting to feel kind of hungry and angry at my family and stuff. But I should have talked about this in the "love" part and I won't do it here. Nor will I go back and add this shit in the right place.

Basically: Money, I wish I had more but who wouldn't?


Spirituality or mind or whatever you want to call this.

I'm ok.

I think this was the most eventful part of my life during this year.

I've been reading and learning about wicca and, well, different kinds of philosphy and I really liked it. I think I believe in karma and how our thoughts can lead us to a better or worse life. I've been doing my best trying to think happy thoughts and... I think it works. At least I feel more relaxed and ready to face all the shit that the world may want to throw at me.
I feel more... at ease with the whole world.

Well, what else.

This year I read Homestuck, and so I finally got over my fear of aliens and such. I'm glad because I was really scared and I didn't do things like stargazing just because of this.

I want to thank OWL for putting up with me and all my shit without making me feel guilty about it. I'm glad I have friends like them, I mean, we're a group, we're into fashion and stuff together but... even if they were "only" friends I'd still be incredibly happy to have them by side. They're like sisters and now and then I think about it and I feel like someday I'll just look at them and wonder what should I call them because... someday our bond will be way stronger than a simple brotherhood... and I really don't know how I'm gonna call it.
I just hope this will keep getting better, 'cause they deserve to be happy and I'd be glad to be with them to share beautiful moments.

Also I met a lot of awesome people, some of them do not know this but I really really like them. I wish them the best and I'd fight for them. I'll make sure to tell them someday that whatever trouble they're into they can count me in for support of any kind.
Hell I wish I wasn't this shy. I wish I could tell them clearly what I think and feel for them and just... let them know I'll be there if they'll ever need help.
I really wish I wasn't so fucking shy.
My life could be so easy.

Well I wish you all a happy nea year. I hope 2014 will be better than 2013, for you and for me.

Have a nice last day in this year, party hard and be happy, the future's so near.

Haru loves you.

Castiel

Hello!

And Merry Christmas!

I spent a wonderful Christmas (and its eve) watching Supernatural!

Kinda sad, I know, but I had fun and also I finally reached the 4th season! HA! I'm so fucking happy!

At today, at 5 am, I finally met (?) CASTIEL.

All I can really say is that I can't stop blushing like a little school girl who's been noticed by her sempai. Really.
I can't believe how his puppy face affects me. It's motherfucking embarrassing.

I DO NOT BLUSH.

but I can feel blood rushing to my fucking cheeks every time he's got that lost look in his eyes. Like "Dean. I didn't know you were a complete idiot."

He just kills me every time. With that stoic look, he looks like he's trying his best not to look unprofessional but he has no clue on what he's doing and that's just PLAIN AWESOME.

So Castiel and his angel powers make my Strider-like poker face (yeah, that's the one I don't have at all) crack and I just melt. I hate it.

But I knew it. I saw that coming. I started this series with the only goal of seeing him and... omg I'm so embarrassed. I can't even.

I just can't he's so cute. SO CUTE.

How could anyone compete with something so fucking adorable. I know I can't. Maybe Caliborn could... but still. I can't.

I just can't.

Haru loves you.

It feels like shit

Today I went for a little walk in the woods.

Well not really, since there's snow and ice on the paths so I just walked down the main roads but I still enjoyed it.

The point is, since woods can be quite dangerous and mankid sucks I usually dress up as a guy so men just wont give a shit about me hanging there all alone. I mean, I look like a random 14-15 y.o. boy so nobody really gives a crap.

Apparently my mom does.

When I got home, happy and relaxed, she asked me if I was a lesbian and when I told her that dressing up as a guy does not really involve sexual orientation she asked me if I was a trans or something. She was quite upset and I felt really bad.

I'm not a trans but what if I was? God this sure as hell is not the right way to ask your daughter about personal stuff.

Anyway, she kept asking me about it and when I told her I don't feel safe going around dressed as a girl because I don't trust men to keep their dicks into their fucking trousers she laughed me off and... well that left me dumbstruck.

If someone honestly tells me of being scared of something to the point of changing its behaviour... hell, I'd take that seriously.
And it's not something I made up. Here in Italy shit's getting quite hard for women, rapes and murders are quite common and... well mom, I'm sorry for wanting to be kinda safe?

Anyway, the lesbian part really hurt.
She asked me in such a bad way, it's not even the first time but I really can't bring myself to tell her anything about my sexuality.
She says she'd be ok with it but she looks so fucking disappointed while talking about it... and then when I refuse to tell her she tells me I'm a bitch and that I hate her and stuff.

Well, I guess I'll really start hating her someday if she keeps being so pushy about it.

It should not matter.

Are you straight? Lesbian? Bisex? Whatever? HELL FINE, what would you like for dinner?

That's an important question.

I can't help but think that when I'll run away she'll think I'm a huge jerk, but I'll do it just to let the both of us live without killing each other.

I don't like to live knowing I'm not the daughter she wanted, the cute, well behaved, straight, kinda average girl. I know she wanted a girl like that. Like my cousin, actually.

But I really hate to censor my whole life just to please her. I need some freedom. I deserve it, don't I?

Everybody deserves it.

*breathes out* well, I just have to wait a bit more.

But I really am tired.

I never thought this all would affect me so much, but I really am tired of my parent's shit echoing on me.

It would all be so easy if I really did not love them at all.

Funny thing is they hold the whole "after all the things we've done for you you don't even love us" clichè subject against me.

God, I can't even...

I also downloaded Painting Tool SAI, I used to let my art take place on Gimp so... I'll talk about this someday (?)

Haru loves you

DaveJohn

I bet you all can tell I ship DaveJohn so fucking hard I barely have a life of my own to live.

They're just so damn perfect. Hot. Adorable.

But nobody knows I've been planning to write a post about my favourite fanfics.

At first I wanted to do a big, huge post about all the fics, all the ships, all the ratings, all leghts, all- hell, I guess you got it.
But then it would probably end up bieng a book or something like that so... I'm doing this just about my super-lovely OTP.

DaveJohn.

I read a lot of fanfics (I also used to write but not about Homestuck) of every lenght or rating. There's just one thing I do not like at all. And it's ANGST. If you're looking for angst I'm sorry, this is the wrong post, blog, person and probably universe. I do not tolerate angst in my universe.

Only happy lovely fluffy endings for my sweeties.

Just a couple of warnings: I call the ship DaveJohn but I don't really mean the order, it can be either John or Dave topping. Also I'll post both SFW and NSFW here, I'll tell which ones are kinda dirty though. I'll also do my best to tag triggers and stuff, I hope I won't forget any of them.

Lets start with the first fanfic I remember reading about Dave and John.

"Waiting for the end" by Tero Ne.
It's really long (over 100k words) but I really really loved reading it! There's some smut so I think it could be kinda NSFW? I mean the story is quite long and.. it's kind of normal to get to hot stuff during it.
Anyway, the point is this one's adorable and it takes place in an Alternia/Earth-post-sburb/sgrub!AU?
There are a lot of other pairings but I think I sould tell you about the awesome kismesis that Dave has with Karkat in this one.
Just read it ok?

I also really like random AUs so... reverse!Demonstuck!

"and let this cold night's wind be my witness" by Snowsheba.
It's a oneshot (over 17k words) and I read it right after a small Supernatural marathon so I was really into it! Kinda SFW but there's some major character death and graphic violence. Quite graphic violence, actually. I loved it because it can get really psychological and deep if you let the main character's thoughts get at you.

Still an AU but... kinda vintage (?)

"The Heir and His Knight" by wittyy_name.
Medieval!AU and it's absolutely gorgeous. Quite long (over 120k words) but definitely worth it, I didn't want it to end actually! Can get kinda NSFW but again, it's a long story, it would be disappointing without a bit of smut! Also, there's some Rosemary. Super cute Rosemary. I also need to warn you, this one made me cry (and I hardly ever cy) but... the sequel/spin off made me cry more. "Of Hope and Heart" is adorable as well and completes the AU with some much needed DirkJake.

But what if you're looking for some kinky, hot smut?

Irrevocably, Irrefutably, Indisputably by ravenfyre.
I really have to warn you about this one. This is not a PWP, it does have a plot and it's a quite interesting one but it's still mainly porn. Also kinda kinky. Mild vouyerism and exhibitionism, oral, handjob, foreplay and stuff. Just to let you know what I'm referring to: it's DaveJohn, but it's mainly Bro's pov. It's longish (over 20k words) and I think it's hot, sweet and made me really laugh a couple of times.
If you're ok with kinks, just read it!

So these are my faves so far, I might do similar posts about more ships or more specific subjects, if you want something special just ask!
I'll see what can I do about it ^^

Also a great thanks goes to the writers that did such a great job, I really loved your fics! *^*

Haru loves you

Fighters

So... I'm still sick.

I'm coughing up some horrible shit and tomorrow I'll go and see a doctor, she'll prescribe me some antibiotics and maybe some kind of aersol. My doc loves aerosol. Idek.

Anyway it's been a while since the last time I got this sick, maybe a couple of years, or even more... Now that I think of it, I don't remember getting such a bad cold since that time when I was 15 y.o.

God that time shit really got nasty, I had been running in the cold winter air with a fever. I guess nothing good could have come from such an idiotic behaviour. I kind of deserved it. The day after I went to school anyway, you know, there was this cute guy... that didn't give a shit about me doing my best to die of pneumonia just to see his awesome ass.
I was so young and stupid.

...me and my friends ended up shipping him secretely with his little brother. They were so so so alike. It was like selfcest. Hot selfcest.

Anyway I was thinking about how I handle crushes.

After thinking about this for something like... 10 minutes? I came up with a little "modus operandi" of my absolutely useless and uncooperative brain.

And I want to tell you all.

Basically because I'm stupid or because my brain is trying again to destroy my whole life. I really can't tell.

First of all there has to be a cute girl around for me to notice.
I don't really have a type I like, it's more a love-at-first-sight thing. And that's why it's all so random. People's always like "omg but you barely know me" and I'm like "Yeah, but I like you so far and I'd love to know more". Is this really that fucked up? Idk.

Then I try to chat with this girl, and she's cute and smart and adorable, because that's how girls are! Cute, smart and adorable, and I'm so hopelessly lovestruck that I KNOW I'm fucking embarrassing but I can't help it! She's adorable and she's talking to me and I'm so lucky!

But at some point something happens. It can be a word or something that she does or does not do and... I start to dubt. What if she's not the right one. What if she's going to leave and hurt me or... (here I can get a bit dramatical, sorry) what if it's just so awful that I have to leave her and hurt her before she destroys everything I know and love. OMG.

But it's fine. This is just my brain being my brain again, isn't it? Yeah. Everything's ok, she's cute, smart and adorable, Haru. Just look at her. She's smiling and she looks stunning with that haircut. She does not believe me when I tell her she's perfect but it's ok, because she's had a hard life, like I did, and it really took me a while so sort my shit out so it's ok. She's beautiful, look at her. Maybe if she got to be my girl... I could help her be strong enough to pull her shit together faster and without tears and bad feelings. Maybe I could learn to bake and make her sweets! And take pictures of her when she's not looking and...

"I'm not gonna do it"
What. I'm sure I misheard that last part, ahah I- Can you repeat, I heard you're not going to fight to make your life better and that's fucked u-
"I'm ok with things as they are, I mean nobody's happy"
No, wait, that's not true! You can have all you want, you just have to work for it and you'll have a great lif-
"There are things we'll never get"
...
"I don't want to fight against it"
...
"I have to accept things as they are"
So that's it. You're like... them. You're one of those girls who just give up, without even trying. You...
I can't help you.
You don't want to fight so... I might as well give up.

But that's not the kind of girl I like. I like girls who are brave enough to get up and fight.

So it all ends. Usually they don't even know I liked them and I loose interest in them pretty fast. Don't get me wrong, I keep talking with them and I still like them. They're still cute and smart and adorable but... knowing that all the shit they're going through is not something the world just threw at them but something they're kind of ok with is... sickening.

And I want and need a fighter like me by my side.

The bad thing is that I can't seem to find any around here...

Kinda tired r/n and these nasty coughing fits are getting kinda worse.

Btw don't get me wrong again. A non fighter can become a fighter, and I'm glad to help if that's what they want... but if they don't. I can't do anything about it but talk with you all and try to be comforting.
Sorry people.

Haru loves you.

The Internet

I know it's not really late but I'm writing this post right before going to bed because I'm really really tired!
And I've been awake for... 10 hours? Maybe less actually.

That's because I caught a motherfucking awful cold. I'm not sure about this, I'm way too lazy to get up and look for a themometer, but I think I might have a fever.

Anyway, I'm not gonna die, am I?

If I die just know you can cmpletely blame Rika. She's the one who infected me! (Rika I think I hate you)

The point is that my whole body hurts and I can't bring myself to do anything, so I've spent these last days on the internet trying to talk with people but... the internet's been acting up and it's making everything soooo difficult. I can't even talk to OWL normally! This is so so so bad.

I feel kind of lonely.

Even my mom and my brother have been out all day and it's literally just me and my cat. Not a random cat. It's Raven.

She hates cuddles.

That's how I ended up watching MOAR Supernatural.
I was stuck at the beginning of the second season because after Lucca I couldn't find a fucking moment to watch it but I made up for it today.

Yeah, I know, I'm taking it quite slow for someone who wants to see Cas but really, I've had a lot of shit to do for the university and I still have much to do. I don't really want to think about it.

After something like six episodes I was kind of tired though so I thought I'd try and chat with this cute girl I met some time ago but it was 6 pm and it was so fucking early! I can't be nice and charming that early, really. So I fucked around on tumblr and now... now I'm staring right into THE DEATH's hollow eyes and I just want to read a fluffy Homestuck fanfiction and sleep.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

Shitty cold and shitty extra sickness-induced hours of sleep.

Gotta go and face it though.

Haru loves you.

Lucca Comics

Hey!

*sigh* I know it's late and stuff, but... I'm not here to post anything about Lucca Comics 2013 yet. I'm not really in the mood and.. I haven't really been completely ok since then.

Lucca Comics was fun and I met a load of funny and sweet people but... I don't know, I feel like I'm kind of waiting for something to happen and... well, it's not happening. Or maybe it is, it would be easier to tell if I actually knew what the heck I'm waiting for!
Yep, even after Lucca Comics I'm still kind of insane, I'm sorry guys... I have to confess it's not stress what makes me kind of weird. I'm just like that, always.

Anyway, I'm not here to whine about how fucked up my mind is or whatever! I'm here to tell you about Lucca Comics!

...I'm changing my mind pretty fast tonight, isn't it? Well, I'm sorry sweeties.

The truth is that I think that all I can say about Lucca Comics is kind of a clichè. It was super cool, and funny and awesome, there were a lot of cosplayers and most of them were just plain sweet and I wanted to have pictures of a lot of them and I cosplayed as well and I'm glad I got pictures and stuff like that.
This is all true but I feel like shit writing common stuff on my blog... I would not read a blog with boring stuff.

So I'm gonna tell you about the people I met!

I met a looooot of  friends from Turin and it was awesome, I missed them so much and I was so happy to see them again! I love them all, really, they made me what I am right now and I'm always happy to see them and have a little chat, even if we don't really tlak that much. They're all cosplayers and they made me feel ok and accepted in the cosplay community, even if I don't cosplay that much... They're just sweet, I love them! Really!

But then I also met people that knew me but I really did not know! This really surprised me! They came to say hi and I really enjoyed chatting with them!

I also got to know new people! I managed to keep in touch with most of them and I'm glad I did because most of them are so nice and cute! And also quite good artists! (I coudn't draw like them for my life *sigh*)
I've followed some new blogs on tumblr and I'll probably end up in new fandoms u.u

Also I'm kind of sad because I did not meet some people I wanted to see... I'm really sorry but you know how Lucca Comics is... It's huge and crowded and... I just could not find you!

Anyway I'm feeling pretty lazy so I won't upload pics, you can find some of them on OWL's blog along with the actual Lucca Comics Chronicle (?) aaaand if you just want to see all the pics (ALL OF THEM) they're all in out OWL @ Lucca Comics album!!

So... that's it. u.u

Ah, I nearly forgot!
I met some pretty cute girls as well and someone may or may not have left me kind of lovestruck (?)

Haru loves you <3

Shit on Tumblr

Ok, I've been avoiding this subject for a while now, I tried to ignore all this awful shit that lately has been filling my tumblr dashboard.

FUCKING PRO-ANA SHIT.

I agree, I can't understand what is like to be chubby or fat or anything, because I'm skinny.
But I know that anorexia is a disease and it's not funny. Exactly like depression isn't funny, schizophrenia isn't funny, OCD isn't funny and so on. There isn't a single fucking disease that is actually funny.

So why does this all look like a funny game to you?

How can you be reblogging pro-ana stuff? Why don't we reblog pro-cancer stuff then? Or pro-AIDS? Pro-TBC perhaps? It's vintage, isn't it? Too mainstream? Try pro-cholera!

What the actual fuck?

Why? Why are you doing it? Why are you doing your best to teach people how to ruin their lives getting sick, how to starve themselves? Just to look skinny, be thinner, be a walking skeleton. WHY.
How can you sleep at night knowing that someone might be following you into this?

The worst part is that usually who's reblogging this is just doing it as a self inspiration.
They're not actually anorexic but it gives them a "troubled existence" look...

But it's ok, just know I absolutely despise you.

This post is actually to inform you all that I'll unfollow whoever posts this kind of bullshit, because I don't want to risk reblogging something that'll lead people to that kind of blog.
I love my followers and I don't want them to get sick or to suffer.

I'm off cleaning up my tumblr.

Haru loves you.

Nearly done

So tomorrow's the last day before Lucca Comics.

I'm really excited about it, I can't wait!

My bag's nearly done, I just have a few things to put in before leaving and then I'll be officially off for adventure!

My outfits are all ready and I'm pretty happy about them.

News: I finihed watching the first season of Supernatural and... well it ends quite badly. All I could think of was "I LIKE TRAINS" and I just sat there rumbling about what an awful end it was. Anyway I'm already watching season 2 and it looks pretty cool. But the site just won't work, I hate it so much...

I'm also reading a shitload of fanfics about Homestuck. I'm gonna write a post about the ones I loved the most and I already have a couple of them that I really want you all to read. Don't worry, I'm a multishipper but I'm mostly into popular ships.
Anyway if you have some fics you'd like me to read just tell me and I'll be glad to, the pairing doesn't matter and, this is important, I'm gonna read them even if they're awfully angsty. Really.
I usually don't read angst but.. fuck it, I'm young (?)

Ok babes, I'll go get the last things ready.

Haru loves you

Denial

So... apparently I started watching Supernatural.

I'm going to watch the 16th episode of the first season and I like it so far. Ised to watch random episodes when I stumbled upon them on tv but it's usually quite late and I'm not really into watching tv so I never really followed any series.

Ok, I loved House but that's not the point.

I'm not really sure about what made me want to watch Supernatural but I like to think that it's Dean's fault (Jensen Ackles' fault?). Let's face it. He's hot.
He's probably one of those few last men that make me actually bisexual and not a complete lesbian. Robert Downey Jr is another one of those few adorable men. God, I love Ironman.

Anyway I really want to think that it's just beacuse of sweet adorable Dean. I really do.

I really want to believe that this has absolutely nothing to do with that absurd amount of gifs where Castiel looks like a completely lost puppy that really does not get why having a pee on the carpet makes its owner so so so angry.

Come on.

He's a lovely puppy and you know you like it (?)

I'm gonna ask OWL if I can have one. I'll tell Rika I'll take him out on walks and feed him and buy him a flea collar and stuff.
I just really want one.
Rika... Rika if you're reading this... I'LL CALL HIM DENIAL. Please
Please.

Haru loves you.

Ran Mao

Today I finished the dress for my Ran Mao cosplay!

I'm cosplaying a ball version of Ran Mao with OWL being Ciel and Alois.

I'm glad of how the dress is r/n and I can't wait to wear it the last two days at Lucca Comics! I'm no going to show you the whole dress but here's a small detail...

I'm still working on other parts of my cosplay but I won't tell you where I'm using this!!

Kind of a small post but I really wanted to show you this shit I'm working on! I didn't show you anything relevant though.
I guess I'm just that mean.

Haru loves you

Lucca Comics and Gigapause

Sorry for this late update.

I've been kind of busy getting ready for Lucca Comics and I still am not done! I still have to work a bit on my cosplay and on my original trikster outfit, but today I went to Turin with Rika and Shane to get the last things we need for our outfits and stuff! Lucca's starting in a week and I really can't wait for the National Harajuku Fashion Walk!! I kind of hate it that I have so little time left so I'm starting to panic but it's quite normal. I'm... usually over reacting to shit all the time.

And talking about over reacting to stuff... I'm absolutely out of my mind about the GIGAPAUSE that Hussie announced six days ago. I'm surprised it took nearly a week for me to process this... thing. Usually I cope quite faster with sudden events (by over reacting, of course).

I didn't expect it. At all.

It might be because I've been into Homestuck for something like five months or less and so... I didn't get to see past pauses. Or maybe I didn't really read what Hussie wrote before (no, I did but I'm not stalkering him on twitter and stuff). Or maybe I'm just a complete idiot because I really don't get things until I stumble upon them.

I'm not angry or stuff, don't get me wrong. I understand he's got a shitload of work to do to finish properly this awesome webcomic (also I guess I'll read Problem Sleuth when Homestuck's over) and I'm glad he's going to get a pause to do it.

I just don't understand why now and why he's going to post it all at once.

I've been thinking about it (insted of doing what I have to for the upcoming comic con in Lucca) and... I don't get it. Right now the story is so complicated and the situation is just... so weird. Why did he stop now if he's saying he's doing it now to avoid interrupting the story at even weirder moments? He could have done it right before Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2 (?) I mean when John was buried alive by Caliborn's weird Daves (I guess my sentence lost all its sense a while ago... anyway yay for PepsiCola!). That was a simple point int he story and this would have not been so... painful? Sudden? idk

I also wonder why is he going to post it all at once. I mean... the story is quite interesting right now, to post the rest of it in small chunks like he did until now would bring a lot of views to the site and... well probably the internet would survive..?

I... I think I gave up at understandig Hussie a long time ago, though.

So I'm kind of ok with this all. Also the hiatus fandom is quite funny with all those sprite edits and weird stuff.

I'm using the word "weird" way too often in this post.

Now, since I'm an idiot I guess a lot of you noticed a shitload of details I did not see at all, but I'm wondering if somewhere, somewhen, in a panel that I really didn't pay attention to... there was some hint about Dave's and John's whereabouts.
I didn' see John in a while ("...buried alive by Caliborn's weird Daves...") and also Dave just flew off somewhere.

"can't talk
chasing dogs"

I wish I knew where this two are. Also Sollux. Hell, I miss Sollux! He's my fave troll and if I remember it right I las saw him flying away with Fef and AA... neh, I'm sad now.

I'm also kind of sad because Homestuck's going to end. I think it's somehow close to the idea of death and I guess that's something I still can't understand... it's like I can't really imagine it. o.o I really should work on this, I once hear that kids usually get to understand death and I still can't... well, shit.

So... have a nice gigapause, I guess.

Haru loves you

Girls

I believe that somewhere out there there's the right person for every one.

I also think it's not just one, I think there are several girls and boys that would be ok for every one.

I have absolutely no doubt about this.

I think about it often, because I wish I could spend this years with her. Yep I think I'm looking for a girl, I'm not sure of how much I can trust a man and it's not like men are bad or such, it's a personal issue. I really can't say I'm having nice examples of men in my family and also if I look around I really can't say I feel ok or safe. I just feel so much more at ease with girls. So I guess I'm looking for a girl.

I thought about this so much I actually have some headcanons about her. They're so random, I don't even know where to start... one of them was that she probably is a scorpio, ascendant gemini. Maybe she's got slightly tanned skin. And she's got a great ass. *smirk*

Anyway that was not the point.

What I was trying to tell you is that I'm so fond of my headcanons that everytime someone fits, even in just one of them I immediately consider her. But I never date anyone because they hardly fit in every headcanon, and I'm always thinking "what if I end up dating the wrong one and do not notice the real one when I meet her?".

This scares me so much.

I still hope I'll find her though. Somehow. Idek.

Haru loves you

Prophecies?

Hey!

I didn't post in a while, I'm sorry, I've been kind of busy with my cosplay and stuff!

Today I finally bought a couple of wigs to cosplay Dave Strider from Homestuck! I love Dave so much (I know, you all already know.) and so I'm gonna cosplay him at the next Torino Comics, in April (probably in April?) and I'll also have a John! YEAH!

Uh I also bought a mint wig to cosplay his trickster version someday? Maybe? Hell I just like that wig ok?

It's the first time I buy something over the internet all on my own so I really hope I didn't fuck up. But it looks like it's ok so... ok.

Also today I'm quite happy because yesterday I finally made up my mind and told a really cute and sweet girl that I was sorry if I made or relationship awkward. Well kind of. I don't think I actually said that, but anyway now everything's fine and we've been talking a lot and I'm far more comfortable talking with her now than any other time in the history of our friendship! I feel like I finally undestand what's on her mind and that's great!
I really hope she's fine with this as well.

Lately I've been kind of excited about something I can't really pinpoint. It's like, something big is about to happen or... Idk. I've been pestering OWL for a while now about this and they've been so nice to me, even if I guess I can be a bit of a pain in the ass when I'm in a "random-prophetic" mood. So I guess I really have to thank them for being so patient with me.
When I get like this I feel like Sollux, everything's fine and people are unaware but... I CAN HEAR THEM.
Jk, but really, thank you girls. I owe you so much.

Well I guess that's all.

Haru loves you <3

I forgot the news

Ah... this is kind of embarrassing but I really really really forgot to tell you a bunch of things.

And I remembered this listening to "Welcome to Night Vale". That's the first thing I forgot to tell you: I fell completely in love with Cecil and his voice and all the weird stuff that happens daily in town.
I just listened to "The lights in Radon Canyon" and I loved it! I was looking forward to knowing what was going on in the underground city! OMG so creepy...
Also poor poor Cecil. I ship him with Carlos so much and still he has no plans for the weekend... ugh.

Today I spent my time on my jacket-saur project. It is my -not so- secret project for the National Harajuku Fashion Walk that will take place at Lucca Comics on November 1st!! OWL are part of the organization and I'm so excited about it!
My jacket-saur is nearly ready but you'll have to wait to see it until the Walk because I want it to be a surprise! It looks great and I really love it!
At first it was supposed to be a hoodie-saur but apparently the lack of cool hoodies around Cuneo just got dramatically worse. Idek. Hoodies are great why can't I find cute ones?
Oh well. I'm ok with my jacket so I can't bring myself to care right now. I'm staring at my project and fangirling.

Yes. Fangirling.

You'll see. And you'll understand. Just be patient and wait!

Also YEAH, I'M GOING TO LUCCA COMICS. I'll be there with OWL all of the four days and ont he first day, since it's Halloween, we'll wear some original cosplay (?) inspired to the trickster versions from Homestuck. It'll be something simple since we'll have to travel a lot and clothes need to be comfortable. On the second day there's the Natiola Walk so I'll be wearing aomoji, Rika will wear lolita and Shane kodona. The last two days we'll be cosplaying as the ball versions of some Kuroshitsuji's characters!

I just can't wait!

I'll also meet a load of friends, I really really can't wait!

Haru loves you!

I can't believe this keeps happening

Ok so I just found out something about someone.

There's this friend of mine (that from now on I'm not considering a friend anymore coz O M F G) that I thought was kind of smart.
Just kind of because I think he's been wasting his life and talent and shit but hey... it's his life who am I to tell him what to do with it? If he wants to let it slip down the fucking drain it's ok, as long as he does not hurt others... isn't it?

Yes, it is.

But now I just found out that he's something so so so so bad that I really can't completely believe this actually happened.

I use to be a pretty close friend of his some time ago and I just never noticed. I'm now wondering if this is something that came up to his mind after us drifting apart from each other or what.

Anyway, the point is... that he's a racist.

I know what you're thinking, I know what you all should be thinking and it's

OH MY GOD WHAT?!!

Yep, a damn racist. He absolutely thinks that white people's better that any other "race".

And what I immediatly thought is WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I mean we used to be quite close and even though I really look like a random European I'm half Mexican.

Did he ever think about it?

I mean, did he ever realize that I am a "half-blood" or that I'm "half-inferior-race" or whatever he could define me as?

And in that case what was I? Was our friendship some wicked "adopt a stray dog" act?

No seriously. What's wrong with people like him? What makes you think that a race (that just /happens/ to be yours) is better than any other?

I mean, ok. There /are/ races. We are physically different (ok to make this easy, just think about average height.) but that's all. There is no reason to think some races are better than others.

Our brains are all the same and really... who cares about skintones and shit? I do not. And I hope you do not either.

And don't tell me "It's normal, the world's full of racists" and stuff because it isn't. And even if it's normal it should definitely not be normal, because it's NOT OK.

So just promise me you'll all raise your kids without shitty prejudices and do you best to report any case of racism. The world needs to change.

The same goes for homophobia and sexism.


NO HATE.

Remember:

Haru loves you.

Exploring

Last weekend I went out with OWL and we decided to explore a bit.

We walked a bit in my hometown, looking for the old buildings and things like that. I'm really kind of surprised of how cool can this shitty town be.

Anyway here are some pics we took.

random pic of a -kind of- abandoned building we found.

This is Rika in the biggest church in town.

Rika wearing lolita is so cute

This is Shane

Some empty buildings are creepy.

This is me.

Ex-hospitals are weird.

I think is kind of funny how I ended up exploring shit in quite short shorts and my explorer shoes.

I bet I never told you how I have a lot of shoes and how I identify them in random ways. I should do a post about them. I probably will.

Anyway I had loads of fun doing this!

Haru loves you.

Roleplay

Today I spent a load of time on Omegle.

I had so much fun!!

I had "homestuck" in my interests and I kept finding roleplayers!

Loads of people would just drop a link to msparp and then leave. That's something I really don't like for two reasons. First of all omegle is a place where you speak to people and you're just fucking spamming. That sucks. But also I was ok with it, I wanted to try msparp but I never got how it works so I wanted to ask them... but the damn fuckers would not give a fuck about me shouting "HEY WAIT".

So I'm not on msparp.

If you know how that site works tell me please, I'd really like to join but I'm way too scared to mess it up and make some real roleplayer waste time with me... *sighs*

Anyway I eventually found this girl and we ended up on skype talking about our lives and such. She's great and she's really interesting!

I also roleplayed a bit, mostly as Karkat. Simple things, not much, I found a good Sollux though! *otp otp otp otp otp otp otp* aaand r/n KK and Sol are kissing! Yay!

A lot of time ago I roleplayed as Sollux on pesterchum, I had fun and I think I'm kind of good at it. Nobody said otherwise so... I guess I was ok. But somehow I like being Karkat, even if I'm kind of awkward when it comes to long and complicated rants in English. I can do it quite well in Italian but I need more time in English and Omegle is what I consider a fast peaced chat so it feels weird... and my KK ends up being somehow a well behaved kid (?)
No ok, that's probably too much... but still.

The point is that I used to roleplay in the Hetalia Italian fandom and I had so much fun until it all turned into shit and I could not take it anymore and left (falling completely for Kuroko no Basket).
I roleplayed a bit on Facebook but my best roleplays were on skype with a friend of mine. She was such a great Finland and I was Norway (kind of a crack pairing, I know) and things were just great. We also roleplayed a bit about the Lorax, she was a super cute Onceler and i was a completely absurd Greedler. So funny.

Right now we don't talk that much anymore. It's kind of sad but my dashboard is telling me she's into Transformers and... I don't really like it.

I know she read homestuck too, maybe I should just ask her. Idk.

Anyway what I'm saying is that I never roleplayed in English. In any fandom. But I'd love to roleplay some Homestuck in a more slow paced fashion, so if you're up to it just let me know and we can do it. Nearly any pairing will do. I'm a fucking multishipper after all.

Haru loves you <3

Kraken graphics

So, today I finally decided it would be nice to have an aesthetically acceptale blog so... I changed it a bit.

New background, new header and what not.

The header has got my NEW LOGO in it. Yup this little sweet kraken's my new mascot or whatever.

I still have to put my name on it but I'm really lazy so I guess I'll do it when I really need it. This might occour soon but it's 2 am and I really can't find any fucks to give.

Yup I did all of this lame graphics (ALL OF THEM) and I'm quite proud actually. I think I am able to not suck at it and I guess the header shows it! *so so so proud*

So if you want you can use the background (spread the kraken's love!) and you can find it here. You can't use my logo and header because the small kraken is mine and you can't have it.
Draw your own kraken, I guess?

Now that my whole blog is littered with krakens I feel ok and I'll go to sleep peacefully.

Oh, right. The tiny kraken has got cream on its head because my nickname is usually Krakenpastries. I just thought you should know.

Omg it's nearly 3 am, I really gotta go!

Btw, comments are not illegal.

Haru loves you <3

OMG Jade

Ok, first of all.

THIS CONTAINS FUCKING SPOILERS from the page 8552 of HOMESTUCK.

So... hell do what you want.


I didn't plan this at all (that's why I suck at blogging) but here I am, writing about one of the worst parts of Homestuck until now (and that happened yesterday so... whatever).

I won't lie. Jade wasn't one of my fave characters, I didn't hate her but... she was there, doing some mildy funny things, a lot of important things, accidentally killed Dave and stuff.

My favourite character is Dave.

So I probably shouldn't be so upset over this.

The point is that she's dead. I know, there are a lot of ways for her to come back to life and I don't want to discuss if this was actually a just death or it was enterely Aranea's fault and stuff. I kind of saw it coming.
I just kept telling myself I was wrong because she's one of the main characters and Hussie wouldn't dare kill her.

But I was wrong. He did dare.

R/n this reminds me of the video Green egss and DEAD. Of course he would. *smirk*

Anyway. That's not the point.

My point is DAVE, of course. I'm a bit scared now that I know that Hussie can kill his heroes so easily (I wonder if he is even a little bit sad when he does). Dave is heading over. He'll find Jane and Aranea (maybe fighting?) and Jake flipping his hopefull shit all over Jade's planet (I'm kind of proud of him, though). He'll find Karkat and Kanaya that saw everything (I hope everybody remembers that KK and Jade ended up being kind of close friends and he just saw a house crash her). Also, he'll find her.

I don't want to think about how he'll react to everything and I'm not sure if I'll keep reading if he dies.

But still, this just got a bit embarrassing and definitely not ok so I'll stop writing about this.

I just wanted people to know that even if I hate it that Jade died and even if Dave dies, I'll never hate Hussie.

He worked hard to make this webcomic and... killing a character (or loads of them) doesn't make you a bad person so... YAY!

Hussie go on!

Haru loves you <3

Serious

I shuould start blogging in a serious way.

No, I don't mean talking about politics or war and things like that. God, I'm an idiot and I'm so damn happy.

I mean I should blog more, telling you guys about my life and me and... well, anything. But I can't bring myself to do it.

It's not like I don't love you guys. I know you read me (or used to, on the other blog Zeus, Prussia and butter cookies) but I'm just a small ball of lazyness so... I don't blog at all.

Now I'm not gonna go and say "yeah this time I'll do it" because I don't know if I will but... I'll try. I swear.

Well here's my face.

Chiyuki took this pic of me and Rika at Picta Matsuri Special <3 I had so much fun! XD

But now I'm sick so I guess I'll be off doing my best to keep my dinner where it belongs!

Haru loves you <3

Mascot!outfit

First post! I'm so happy~

Yesterday I was at the lolita mini-meet that Rika Liddell organized! I wasn't wearing anything lolita because I was actually the mascot of the meet so... I was a dog.

That's the outfit I was wearing~

I got the wig in a random shop, I don't even remember where actually. Rika cut the bangs and did the buns.

The collar is really a leather dog-collar and the leash was a plain black leash, we added some lace to make it look more "lolita". The dog tag was made by my dad~

I'd love to tell you how to get what I wa wearing but they where all bought a bunch of time ago or either gifts so... I'm sorry!

Find out about the meet here~

Pic by Alice Chiyuki, @ Steamboat, Turin